Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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