I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
