id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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