I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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