i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
