okay pat passed out under dana's car
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
