im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
