he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
