so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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