I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills