im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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