I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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