and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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