idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
