im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
