Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
