Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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