Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
