why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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