I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
