you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Still dying that you shit outside
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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