I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
