I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You may now shotgun with the bride
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
