4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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