ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
