went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
