Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
