Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
