I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
