woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
