What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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