So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
