white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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