just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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