This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
