There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
