I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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