You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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