I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Randomize
