So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
