I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
