everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
