Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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