We won't sleep together?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
