i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
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We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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