What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
