Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
