He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think your dad took our porno
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
