What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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