I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
