a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
