It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
