Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
