I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
