He is such a slut. More and more my type.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This is my gift to your gina
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
