Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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