So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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