let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize